It Finally Happened...

      I'm starting to like jiu-jitsu.  It took a year, and I still feel like newer people surpass me, but I find myself searching the internet and wanting to read jiu-jitsu magazines.  I even enjoyed watching UFC fights, not just the social part of it.  

     I read an article about Kyra Gracie in Jiu-Jitsu Style magazine that had me searching around for any seminars that she will be doing, and thinking about when I can be in NY and take a private lesson from her.  There was also an article about women training Jiu-Jitsu.  While, it would be neat to hear more about women in the U.S. to connect with, this article about the UK was certainly relatable. There was still the sentiment about size as more significant than gender in a training partner.  I don't like it when issues of gender inequality are completely ignored.  While the act of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu training is practical, and may feel comfortable for women in many cases, I don't think it can be a vacuum where societal context doesn't matter at all.  Much of my experience is as a sisterly role to the 30 and over men, which is not necessarily a bad experience. But when i'm rolling with someone that says, "good girl,"  i know it is a supportive compliment, but it does exemplify how it's a 'woman's role' to be taken care of and protected.  

     I definitely work hard on defense, no matter who I grapple, but if I am in an offensive position against someone who is big and strong like a tree trunk, it feels like trying to bend steel to break their posture in my guard, or like i am a little feather if i am on top.  Let's just stay positive and say that I get an extra good workout  :-)  

BJJ Master, once removed

Although we train at a new bjjym now, I still feel connected to the Carlson Gracie federation.  It may seem snobby, but it is neat to feel close to a history and a formative BJJ philosophy.  I guess my family history has always been important to me because my grandparents were Holocaust survivors, and my Jiu-Jitsu family may have tapped into these sentiments.  I didn't know just how spoiled I was that my coach was Carlson's student in Brazil.  I have met and heard about others who trained under Carlson (including delaRiva), and the stories that they tell really add to my experience with the sport/art/lifestyle of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.  Before I had trained Jiu-Jitsu, I read on a website about the school philosophy of sharing everything with your students.  That spoke to me.  Especially, for me, studying human behavior, I know how difficult it must be to go against the ingrained nature of protecting one's family.  Even in non-profit orgs, I've seen how a certain level of fear or greediness makes people ultimately look out for 'numero uno.'  A Carlson Gracie school clear across the country shared a video that I really like of Master Carlson Gracie teaching a technique (with translation from Portuguese). 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4YTn93nhIs

I think the emotional attachment also helped me to learn and remember the technique.  It stood out in my mind.  I watched the video 4 times over the course of a couple of days, I practiced it 3-4 times, and I saw Gary teach it to others.  I was able to understand the fundamentals that the technique builds on, which also helps to fit the pieces together into my existing framework.  The move begins with setting up the scissor sweep guard from closed guard, and the ultimate goal is the triangle.  Carlson talks about the scissor sweep guard as a great guard that is very difficult to pass.  I never thought of the scissor sweep setup as a 'guard,' so that was helpful in my thinking.  It put a positive light on a move that I was told nearly impossible for me to execute with my 'bjj chronic size difference syndrome.'   I now have a more effective tool than I thought.  In terms of the triangle ('big finish,') another neat trick clicked.  Grabbing onto my own shin is not just for a quick way to lock the legs.  Holding onto the shin can keep the person in position even while moving around and battling for the submission.  So Simple.  So Awesome.  It means the game's not over, even if things don't go my way right away.  Gary has huge shoulders that give me trouble.  This made a big difference! 

Sound Effects

I am feeling like a more well-rounded Jiu-Jitsu player.  I still don't see all of the available submissions, but I find myself moving differently and more deliberately.  I'm thinking more; panicking less.  Breathing helps -- shocking, i know.  but especially when I'm tired or feeling stuck, integrating short and long exhale breaths helps me focus... or at least distracts me enough from the, "OMG I'm screwed."  They're audible, like shh shh shh shhhhh.  I thought it was silly, but sound effects are awesome!         

Strategy

Since that sad day when I figured out that 'just pulling guard,' is not the cure-all, I have faced grappling opponents largely on the defensive.  Initiate contact, try to break grips, move to the side to avoid a steamroller (thinking that maybe one day i'll scootch all the way to the back haha), control their legs and wiggle around to avoid being swept, etc.  This became the norm because my mind goes absolutely blank as the timer beeps.  Now, still largely reactionary, I've added some guard-passing type attempts and a half-formed arm bar attempt to my artillery.  Coming soon... setting up sweeps from starting at the knees.  

I

The good news arrived.  I'm an aunt.  I was off to San Franciso on 5 hours notice, and I grabbed a Jiu-Jitsu book for the long journey.  I usually surprise people with my BJJ practice.  Tampa to Denver, I sat next to two kids, probably 8 and 11.  I'm shy, so of course I didn't talk to them (even though I was instructed that in the event of an emergency, I would be "securing my own oxygen mask before assisting" them).  waywardly glances told me that I was definitely the odd lady with the book called 'The Path to the Black Belt.'  Every time I look at the book, I think it's funny, too, in an eye-brow-raising, ridiculously ambitious way.  My inner voice says the title in a hushed, foreboding Darth Vader voice.  "The Paaath.  to the blaaack beeeelt. chasshhh"

If I'd seen the book on a store shelf, I would have glazed right by it, but luckily, it was presented to me as a must-study for my practice.  The book really emphasizes process; from the very first day on the mat.  I took a step back and read through the introduction.  It is 43 pages of advice.  Rodrigo Gracie basically sets up a mindset about training and progress, including warnings about injury and reasons why people quit along the way.  He talks about the beginnings of feeling discouraged when techniques fail (been there.)  He talks about learning how certain techniques will fit you better than others (figured that one out the hard way).    He runs through the learning process, which is what I have been focusing on lately for myself.  I knew that practicing was important, and hearing in black and white that repetition of each move without putting it into action is so crucial, has deflated any excuses I ever made about grappling not affording me this type of practice.  Rodrigo says that white belts should not be focusing on grappling, but on learning each move.  He also, of course, emphasizes connections.  I jotted down one overall reminder about thinking systematically, in my BJJournal, "It's extremely important that, along with understanding the techniques, counters, transitions and links, (I) understand what each position involves - (I) need to know the objectives of each major position, what (I) need to prepare for and what (I) need to be thinking about in regard to each of the major positions (PTTBB 19)."

In teaching student success, I would always emphasize how important it is to actually say "I," rather than the safer way of deflecting by making general statements with "one" or "you."  Here was my chance to practice taking ownership over my own training and learning.  If I want to change, I commit to action.

Move of the Week

      I haven't been keeping my 'BJJournal' like I said I would, oops.  (but not that surprising).  And haven't been studying books (also not that shocking).. although, We are awaiting the arrival of a special book, any day now.  Gary spent $89 on a copy of Helio Gracie's master book, because it only had one printing. There's so much to learn, so much to study, so much to practice... it's difficult to focus on one thing at a time.  At the school we're at now, they teach anywhere from 4-8 different moves every night; it makes my head spin, and after a while, it's quite challenging to pay attention.  Going to Jiu-Jitsu feels like going to school.  It's hard to pay attention for so long, and Everything is a test; an opportunity to succeed or fail.  A learning opportunity, of course... I tell my students that a quiz is just a learning opportunity... but they certainly don't feel the same way.  I understand.  It stings just a little to get beat up no matter what. 

     This week, I have had a few more moments when I've felt things coming together, and where I've been remembering some long-lost moves.  Really, I guess it's the process of my brain recognizing a position I'm in, and searching the filing cabinet for what to do.  (and by filing cabinet.. i mean that my brain is probably more like a box that just gets papers shoved into it at random)  A friend posted this video on facebook because it's hilarious, but it is also very good basic Jiu-Jitsu.  I subscribed to Kurt Osiander's 'Move of the Week,' so I am committing to a way to focus.  My commitment to myself and my jiu-jitsu practice is to keep watching each week's video 2-3 days throughout the week. 

Here's the video:
Kurt Osiander move of the week - escape from side control

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4l9tP2gRuOo&feature=youtu.be&ytsession=oAHY4nQ7vt_WRmgrfWRChgRpw630ywZRceHq9mJ1YEyT_V28XeCaU5UogiWUAvJiuTnFCUyOgmCfgem_PkT2OeCmDbOOYqvaArzoVEJ17NV6ar8gMsjT9L_rR_k_LXwz_5CHNR1dXH0x5SfKPBIKPBeN9Agj-YCnUcYEYh4dygBCM_C9jw_HtIqa3dGIZgjX0MTA34o0iZ4tM_J5gaVnCW1xP6N_AsnarRMJ1-z6f23a2VdljsWEeD1lnI2xZHzTMi14YCszGL4h9Pgww3u-z44OKX_WGCB6SIJ2p-R8c04

Upper Belts

      Our school hosted a seminar; a guy who trained with our instructors and got his black belt from Royce Gracie.  This was my second seminar.  My first was with De la Riva and I had no idea how special it was... since it was maybe my second month of training Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.  At the De la Riva seminar, I trained with Gary and a couple of other purple belts.  I wasn't really seeing the connections, so mostly I just did what the person I was training with explained to me. 
      At this seminar, I trained with a black belt (mostly because we were the two partner-less people after everyone else paired up).  I still have the 'awe factor,' but as I meet more black belts, the interaction feels more comfortable.  I switched partners for one move that was harder with a height difference, and didn't know until the car ride home that I was with the master instructor of our school  (we're at a satellite).  I don't think i did/said anything embarrassing  :-)  
      From the very beginning, I've been so spoiled, getting to train with upper belts.  I try not to impose too much on their training time, but I think this is one of the reasons that I have stuck with it.  They have a general heir of calmness and sincerity that I truly appreciate and aspire toward.   Especially at this bjjym, I am noticing that many of the white belts don't have that same spirit of respect and artfulness.  Everything seems like a threat and a reason to prove themselves... instead of self-betterment and an outlook on life.  One theory -  the people who stick with it are the ones who have that attitude of a long personal journey.  I don't know if it's something that you can grow into, or if some folks who just come to "fight" and to "win" against others quit after a while.  In general, I am fascinated by what may motivate different people to train Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu... and to stay with it.
      I asked my instructor this question one day.  He said that, when he was a kid, he was smaller, and play fighting with friends, others' size and strength brought great advantage.  Someone showed him a Japanese Jiu-Jitsu move or two, and he liked that he could find an angle to lessen their advantage.  He stuck with it because he is generally a pretty hyper personality, and the days he trains Jiu-Jitsu, he notices a greater sense of calm and self-control.       
      What brought you to the mat?  and what keeps you here?