A Whole New World

New school, new moves... back to survival. I was almost embarrassed by my two little stripes on my white belt. I realize that it's just a new style that I'm not familiar with, and that it means I have a whole new area for growth... but on my first day at our new 'BJJym,' I felt like I hardly knew anything. There was a new big, strong girl for me to contend with. I survived this time, but I know I can do better. Once I figure out how they start grappling from butterfly guard and get my back, I'll be in better shape. It's a game-changer, but I'm up for the challenge.

We did a lot of new drills, which, once I learn the moves, will be great for agility and movement. As a little person, I definitely could use the added speed to my advantage. I also liked that the instructor stressed gaining muscle memory for the movements. I felt like it was a good learning environment.

And now.. On to a new chapter of my BJJ adventure...

"Good Body Awareness"

At the new school, I happened to be the only white belt in the class. I've been training for a year now, so, 1. I knew that there wasn't much pressure to perform, and 2. that I know at least enough to follow along and get by in rolling with their blue belts. It turned out to be a good experience. I usually like training with higher belts. Yes, they can beat me up, but they are likely to be more relaxed and in control, and have nothing to prove with me.

In terms of style, I noticed a difference, but Gary was able to tell more. With one blue belt that was pretty easy going, I was able to make adjustments to my game based on his reactions, which I was quite proud of myself for :-) When I went to pass his guard, he caught me in half guard. After a couple of times, I was able to be proactive and control the one leg with the knee-threw pass, but I also paid attention to controlling the other leg with my arm to get by. I did learn that detail of grabbing the pant as a step, but now I will remember it because I experienced the reason behind it.

Another blue belt had great use of technique. I am sensitive to the difference between technique and strength, because I have been muscled around many a time. (not surprising, of course, since 99% of my training partners have been much stronger than I am). While we were rolling, his foot got stuck in a sweep. Even though he was in control, I saw that he might be in a bad position. I asked, "is your foot okay?" He laughed and said, "thanks for noticing. you have good body awareness." That was a nice thing to hear. We stopped and started again. It felt like the truest sense of the word, 'training.' nothing was a big deal. no ego. it didn't matter who had advantage. it was clear, though, that not getting hurt for silly reasons is very important. I like to think that if I tap out today, I'll survive to train another day.

After class, I talked to this same guy, and mentioned that I noticed his consistent use of technique. Turns out, he had some training experience at a gym with really big guys. I know that concept well.. combat strength with technique, or give up right then. I told him about when I first started and had to just figure out basic survival. Nothing else happens if I can't survive. I would think to myself, "Don't get crushed. Turn to the side! turn to the side!" I told him that "Pancakes are only for breakfast!" He liked that one.

School Shopping

I had my first experience at a different bjj school than the one I started at. Of course my first school has a special place in my heart, but I really do think it was a special place. Gary has trained at a lot of school's, and he really loved this one. The teacher and community are incredible. When we moved to that part of Florida, it gave us a place to feel connected. Now that we've moved again, it's been tough finding a new place to train. Gary is an advanced Purple Belt, so he needs higher belts to train with. I am new, so my wish list includes a good teacher and supportive environment. We tried one place that is 45 minutes away. The instructor is a great practitioner and competitor. He is a nice guy, but it was just far, expensive and has a contract. He wasn't a good enough teacher to combat all of that. We are trying another closer place with no contract and a decent price tomorrow. Hopefully it will be a pretty good option, and we will start training regularly again. We've been in transition between two cities for a couple of months now, so we'll be glad to settle in and get back on track with our health and jiu-jitsu practice.

Don't Quit

Rolling with Gary, it feels like a cruel trick with a little kid -- when you hold your arm out with your palm up against their forehead, and they run at you as hard as they can, flailing and squirming... and you just laugh! yep.. feels like a cruel trick. I felt like giving up quite a few times the other night during our roll, but I didn't. and I didn't cry. I rolled with a new friend next, and I told him that if I cry, it's not him and I'm not upset... he said, "yeah, me too." hehe. we were all pretty tired at that point.

Soft Pretzel

This might be my new fight name of the hour. No one name has stuck yet. I'm flexible, but I tap out a lot. Does tapping out too much make me soft? I wonder if giving in too much is my way of normalizing or rationalizing the failure part of learning.

I tap out pretty easily, because in my mind, it's practical. Training is practice, and I'd really like to stay calm and not get so frustrated that I get mad... or get hurt. I'm not sure if this dampens my 'fighting spirit,' but I'd say I'm still the tiny and tough one at the gym, but i'm not violent. Some of these new white belts are so wild and forceful, it's a little scary. One is testing my un-pancakeness, but i'm doing okay. Pancakes Are Still Only For Breakfast. haha. sounds like my movie sequel.

Oy. The Face Choke

There are still many ways that I find myself tapping out to positions that are not really jiu-jitsu technique, but provide a significant enough level of discomfort. The Barbarian Noggin Crush shows up every now and again, where someone hooks your head in their elbow and just starts squeezing. The occasional suffocation is unpleasant, but really... It's just hard to avoid The Face Choke. I don't enjoy it, and it makes me think, "it's training. you don't have the choke. why are you squeezing my face so intently?!" Volume 2 of 'The Guard' by Joe Moreira and Ed Beneville says that, "That sort of "choke" is not very sporting... Obviously it is rude to do that sort of thing to your training partners." And I agree.

who you calling Shrimp!

Gary taught a kids class this week, which was pretty funny. He kept 35 wild kids engaged and on task. They're so little, it's so cute. I showed the technique with him, and I helped in training... since i'm the size of some of these 12-year old girls, anyway.

Since I started training BJJ, I liked the idea of mentoring young women to feel more confident and less vulnerable, both physically and emotionally. I truly believe that they go together. In a world that is still made for men, but says superficially that women are equal, I think it is even more important for women to know that being trivialized, pushed aside or taken advantage of is not okay.

We showed the shrimp escape (mount to guard), and one kid asked if it works if the person is heavier than you, so I had Gary get on mount, and I did the technique. They thought it was neat. What I didn't say, but some figured out during rolling, is just how difficult it is when the heavier person on top isn't giving you space for the escape. haha. just like any technique, there are 600 ways for it not to work. I suppose that this is how I incorporate failure into my life.