I like Hugs

Well, there are good days and bad days. When the bad days come around, I usually don't feel like writing, but then an upswing comes along and puts things into perspective to keep me going.

BJJ is not actually 'fun' for me, so there is no general level of excitement or pleasant anticipation for training days, but I do think about it. I think about it in terms of self improvement and emotional strength building. I also will admit that I like thinking about how cute our little BJJ family will be :-) That was what added to the warm feeling at our old 'bjjym.' Everyone brought their kids and the coach's baby was there most every day and his wife trained with us. The coach also set the tone for making fun of each other, but it was always about love and support. He is tough and energetic like a real team coach, and is quick to greet you like a friend with hugs and kisses. I like hugs. I think it was my first hug at the new school that set my mind to have a better day than the last. Walking in, it was the owner of the Tai Kwon Do school where we have class that showed me and Gary the warm kindness that I was unknowingly craving.

Everyone at the bjjym is nice and willing to help, and I know I really shouldn't compare myself to others because this is my journey, but 1. everyone seems better than me. and 2. there is a new girl that is kicking my butt a little bit. She is picking everything up so quickly. I may not have won many competitions in my life, but dead last is not a spot i'm used to. There was one other time when I felt like the slow kid in class. As a graduate student in Intercultural Communication, I took a color theory class in the design school for fun. I ended up really enjoying it, but each day, we would bring our work in, and mine was so basic. I worked hard to end up with the bare minimum when the undergrad art majors would bring in these complicated art pieces that were applications of the color theories. I had a square and a circle, and next to me was a fish tessellation. It seemed amazing and unrealistic to me, but I plugged away, one project after the next.

I know. I need to study. Gary hates it when I say anything that is even a distant cousin to self-pitty.