27 Years of Weakness

I’m starting to realize why Jiu-Jitsu is an art for a lifetime. My Jiu-Jitsu is progressing veeerrryyy slowly, and 3 months of Fight Training is really just a starting point. 27 years is a lot of weakness to overcome. I get my ass beat on a regular basis and I get frustrated just practicing not getting squished for weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks. Gary told me that practicing not getting squished - is practice. Encouraging… I Think?

During mailbox sprints, I visualized explosive shrimping power for when I get stuck under bigger people. And, since, I am the smallest person at the gym… that seems a quite common occurrence.

Right now, I struggle to create the tiniest amount of space to keep my ribs in tact. While simultaneously practicing playing my guard open and closed in different ways, I look for a point of attack or escape. From all I’ve been told about the guard, it does not make much sense to me that somehow, I could be successful at keeping someone in my guard, and still, feel that I am the one searching for the emergency exit door.

The silver lining: I do think that crushing weight on my chest will make me a better Jiu-Jitsu practitioner. It means that my technique needs to be particularly correct to become effective. I won’t be getting away with ‘muscling’ the fight, and I know that. Although this week was quite frustrating with some moments of slight emotional instability, I am coming to terms with the fact that I may be stuck underneath for quite some time… but the day I gain control, I can be confident that it is skill and not luck.