gggrrrrr

gggrrrrr
first day with my Gi

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Again. And Again. AND-Again.

We had an in-house tournament at our school.. so this was really my first time getting nervous that there’s only one chance. I don’t get to tap out and start over like in training. I was disappointed in my performance even more than usual, but I do not want to dwell on past mistakes. I want to move forward by working on ways to change the game. I don’t mind losing, but I KNOW I can do better.

I was able to jump guard right away because I didn’t waste time thinking about it, and I didn’t give a chance for the dancing around shenanigans. The big guys in one match, spent the entire time standing. I know they were working really hard attempting a take-down, but still, it was a little funny.

Uuugghhhh… I’m tired of getting muscled around, and I’m really getting fed up with getting stuck under these people who are, 50,60,80,200 pounds heavier than me. I really like everyone as a person… but as crushing weight laying on top of me… no thanks.

I am absolutely accepting responsibility. I allow myself to get into these compromising positions, which is also why I get frustrated with myself.

You do get to know the people who you train with and what their ‘moves’ are. For example, the same thing happens on the reg, between me and this one woman. I pull guard, which everyone knows is the game Gary taught me. My closed guard is getting pretty tight, but she pushes all her weight onto my chest in a going-for-cross-choke-type position. I know she doesn’t have the choke, but her pushing on me is mucho problematic. She’s usually in a tripod and her arms are right there, so I know I need to figure out a sweep or arm bar and how to work it with the pressure on my chest and to not let her pass guard. That could definitely change the game. I open my legs to put my foot on the hip and fumblingly go for an arm bar (somehow), but that’s where she passes and really lays on top of me. (I’m not sure exactly what happens there, but it does not feel good). I know I need to turn to my side for surviving, but holy wow, I feel stuck. I was bridging, but I think I need to remember about good, strong shrimping in that spot. I sometimes can grab an okay half guard, but overall… what a mess! I need to be quicker and more precise with movements because I can’t fight strength. I need to keep moving and be on my side preemptively, so I’m never flat on my back. I need to keep my knees tighter in when I open my guard, to prevent passing, and to ease the crushing.

Geez, here I am, spewing my game all over the internet, but writing it helps me to commit to working on problems.

On a less related note… I learned a new trick for the scissor sweep, practicing with Gary. Suddenly, it was so much more manageable when I put my knee in closer and higher on his chest, and turned to my side before pushing opposite directions with each leg. It was a little ‘ah-ha’ moment. Makes sense. And really illustrates for me how minor adjustments are the difference between a move working or not working.

I told Gary that part of my frustration is that I haven’t had the chance (or taken charge for the chance) to practice going for a whole lot of techniques I learn. I’m constantly working on defending against squishing. He said I am getting practice. --Practice getting my ass beat. :-) Which is true.. and also an important part of the learning process. He says that’s how our little friend in Philly got so good… Because he had to. And I can definitely understand that now. It’s not an insult, but I’m pretty sure the Pancake is not an official BJJ submission… (maybe on the way to one) but too bad I tap out to something so un-technical. I think it will be better practice for all of us, once I change the game and stop letting myself get taken for a ride. Not surprisingly, as a small young-looking woman, this is all too familiar. In general, I’m a nice, generous person… until I feel taken advantage of.

I think about Jiu-Jitsu just about everyday. I’m starting to mentally put myself in the positions and go through what to do, but I need to study and refresh the details. Gary assigned me a chapter in the book after what happened yesterday. I woke up at 5:30 this morning thinking about what to do… maybe because Gary was like the tooth fairy and put a BJJ book under my pillow.

I’m supposed to be writing a course syllabus by tomorrow… but clearly I’m writing my Fight Blog and contemplating my Jiu-Jitsu homework.

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